looking back at old blogs, not this one, but ones from a few years ago is one of the most interesting things ever.
the things you find. haha.
and xanga. ohgawd.
has to be the most confusing thing to try to log back into.
thanks god that lj isnt is horrific.

summer has me in a throwback.
listening to music from middle school.
remebering everything.
life is so much nicer now, more complex, but i think that i like it that way. having everything handed to you isnt as fun as having to wokr for it yourself and actually pout in some amount of effort.

the only thing thats frustrating me at the moment is that im bored. i need to find something to do. and everyone is going away. eh. hopefully i can take fencing lessons and guitar as well and at least that is something to do. in the meantime, having to not be doing anything is nice for a change. and hopefully im getting a new phone this week and recital is comgin up for dance so at leats that is a distraction for now.
hows your summer? (:

it feels like summer. and its such a tease because i really want to be out of school. i need to be. i cant calm down and i feel like everything is hyper aware and if one little thing goes wrong i feel like everything is going to be crashing down. its not for lack of trying. i am trying. thats the annoying part. theres nothing i can do anymore but study for my finals and hope that i do well on them because thats all that i have left to worry about. no more hw. no more projects. its over. and im not ready for it to be. i need more time to bring up my grades even more. and its not even that i have bad grades i have as and two b+s which is good. and a 3.7 but some how its not good enough. i dont even know what to do.
and i hate that theres nothing to do.
and i feel like everything is i dont even know. not good enough. i feel like i could/ should be doing so much better.
i feel out of shape and school isnt good enough and i really just need to be done.
and dance sucks. everyone is is so uncomitted i just dont even feel like going anymore because going does nothing anymore. we suck at competition and its only because no one comes to practice anymore. if youre part of a team, you need to practice especially with everyone there.
i dunno i feel like im just not good enough.
for myself or anyone else.
i dont want to let anyone down.
i dont even know anymore.

and i dont know where im going in life and everything that i do now determines that. and that hard to realize. i just need to not have any more worries it would just be so much easier.

today was good. (:
i hung out with my friends and it was fun. the most fun ive had recently. now that break is almost ending i dont want it too. haha.
but anyways, i went and saw juno with my some friends from dance and some from school as well. it was such i good movie. i want the soundtrack so bad but my itunes is being rather lame. hopefully i can fix it. or something.
but it was so nice. i sat next to my friend, whom i like, and it was nice just to get to talk to him and stuff. cause thats really what i miss about school, my friends. not the work. :P so that was nice. and then we hung out at the theatre for a bit. i was going to go over to my friends house but it didnt work out. but im still happy. and it was a good day. (:

comment please. (:
and then i will add if you seem to be intersting or whatnot.
i add most people. and i write about random stuff so if interested..,
please add. +++